I sadly post that we lost our sweet Sir Cyrus on February 24th. He had been improving after being on antibiotics for a month. Suddenly that night, he began vomiting and I knew it was something pretty serious. I had Matt go with me to the vet and after X-rays and a blood test, it wasn't a brain tumor as I feared, but multiple issues compromising his health all at once. He began to crash and we had to make the heart-wrenching decision to have him put to sleep and it was the most awful, gut-wrenching, sob-inducing, most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life. He crashed so quickly that we didn't have time to have Keaton come up to say goodbye. That will always cause me pain because Cyrus was technically Keaton's dog. Matt and I hugged and kissed Cyrus and talked to him while he drifted away. Surprisingly, we did it without shedding any tears...I didn't want Cyrus to be nervous or upset. I was able to lay my head on him and feel him take his last breath, peacefully and softly. Afterwards, we totally fell apart and I'm still trying to pick up the pieces.
Anyone who has ever lost a family pet knows the anguish we feel. Anyone who says he was just a dog isn't really a true dog lover. Cyrus was more than a dog. He was a member of our family. I've been his primary caregiver for the past 13 years. I fed him. I gave him fresh water all day and refilled his water bowl before I went to bed at night. I washed his bowls every single day. I took him to the vet. I cuddled with him. I made sure he wasn't ever alone for too long. I made sure he was never in the dark. I made sure he was never scared. I made sure he was warm enough. I made sure he was cool enough. I brushed him...even his teeth. I gave him him monthly medications. I took him to the groomer. I dressed him up every year for Halloween. I changed his collar every month. I gave him a little plate of people food on holidays. I gave him baths. I played with him every day. I sang to him. I kissed him. I talked to him all day long...and I swear he understood every single thing I said. He slept with me every night. He was my companion and he filled my heart with love. He completed our family. I miss him more than anyone will ever know.
I'll miss his little wet nose. I'll miss the snorting he did as he pushed pillows around on the bed. I'll miss him rubbing up and down my legs as he scratched his face. I'll miss how he'd yodel at me when I came in the house with groceries. I'll miss his stubby little tail wagging so much that his whole body would shake. I'll miss his snoring. I'll miss how sensitive he was and the way he'd lay his head on me and just stare at me if I was upset. I'll miss his hugs (yes, he actually would stand and put his front paws on my shoulders and lay his head alongside my neck just like a real hug). I'll miss him begging for food. I'll miss taking him for walks. I'll miss camping with him. (He never liked to sit on the ground and would always jump in a camp chair to sit. He was so spoiled that we even brought an oscillating fan to put on him if it was hot outside or if there were mosquitoes.) I'll miss how he used to stretch and yawn. I'll miss singing to him and putting his name in every commercial jingle. I'll miss how he would always stand and raise his paws so they could be wiped before he came in the house. I'll miss how he'd always come trotting in the kitchen as soon as he heard me get out my cutting board. I'll miss his tricks he could do. I'll miss seeing him lying in the sunny spot on the floor. I'll miss the way he'd flip throw pillows down so he could lie on them on the couch...because just being on the couch wasn't enough for him. I'll miss the million of quirky little things he did. I'll miss him every single day for the rest of my life.
We had a little clay imprint of his paw made and had him cremated. I made a nice little shrine for him. I talk to his picture and touch his stuff every day. I still sniff his little jackets and leash, trying to get a whiff of him, but I can't. That makes me sad. I miss touching him. I miss him not being here. I probably hugged and kissed him no less than 20 times a day. We talked about having a little memorial service for him and going for a walk and scattering his ashes around places he liked to walk. I told Matt that I think I'll have him buried with me instead. Matt asked if he could be buried with me. I told him that it's simple: the order of our household has always been me, Cyrus, Matt, & Keaton. For the most part. We had an incredible 13 years with Cyrus and we're so grateful for the memories and joy he gave us. We'll always love him and he'll always hold a special place in our hearts.